NEW YORK CITY, NY, July 31, 2026 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) -- The Church of Conceptual Art today announces the public sale of admission to the afterlife. Effective immediately, any person may purchase a named, non-transferable, never-expiring ticket to Heaven, to Hell, or, for the prudent, to both, at afterlife.churchofconceptualart.org.
People have always paid for their place in the next world: tithes, indulgences, endowed masses. The Church of Conceptual Art has made the transaction direct. Payment is the qualification. There is no assessment of conduct, no review of a life, no ceremony, and no waiting to find out. The purchaser selects a destination, the payment clears the world financial system, and the contract is complete for the named holder. Nothing else is asked of the holder, in this life or afterward.
Instruments available for clearing
TICKET TO HEAVEN (H-777). Standing schedule $777.00, clearing at $7.77 for the duration of the closing period. Your place, paid for in advance.
TICKET TO HELL (D-666). Standing schedule $666.00, clearing at $6.66. Your debt, settled in advance. Some people would rather choose it than be sent. This is how you choose it.
BOTH GATES (HD-1443). Standing schedule $1,443.00, clearing at $14.43. Covered either way.
Passes may be purchased for oneself or issued as a gift in another person's name, with the payor recorded as the party who cleared the obligation. You may secure entry for someone who would never secure it themselves.
Tickets may also be issued to no name at all, admitting whoever holds them.
The record
Every cleared transaction is committed to a public, append-only register secured by a SHA-256 hash chain: each entry carries a hash computed over its own contents and the hash of the entry before it, so altering any entry breaks every entry that follows. The record is published in full, uses no secret, can be recomputed by anyone, and is never amended.
Salvation, for the first time, is independently auditable.
Five doors, one gate
The offering is sold through five storefronts, each a complete architecture of belief:
THE TERMINAL: afterlife.churchofconceptualart.org/terminal/ : a financial clearing interface. SKUs, settlement, specimen data. The afterlife as an instrument class.
GEOCITIES: afterlife.churchofconceptualart.org/geocities/ : a 1998 web shrine, complete with webring, visitor counter, and a page that is under construction and will be finished before the end. Best viewed in Netscape Navigator 4.0.
HEAVEN: afterlife.churchofconceptualart.org/heaven : the white door. HELL: afterlife.churchofconceptualart.org/hell : the black door.
THE MONOLITH: afterlife.churchofconceptualart.org/monolith/ : the door that does not explain itself.
The destination is identical through every door. The purchaser chooses the aesthetic of their conversion.
Statements
"Every religion in history has sold this product," said Paul-Alexander Pissarro, co-founder of the Church of Conceptual Art. "We are simply the first to publish the price, the terms, and the ledger. The Church does not ask you to be good. It asks you to be a customer, which the record suggests is the more honest relationship."
The respective afterlife administrations were contacted and did not respond by press time. Under the terms of sale, gate intake procedures, processing speeds, and secondary audits by spiritual gatekeepers remain solely at the discretion of those administrations.
Terms and classification
Named passes are non-transferable once issued. Bearer passes, issued to no name, admit whoever holds them and are the only transferable instrument. All passes carry no expiry and cannot be cancelled, amended, or refunded under any circumstance. A holder who wishes to secure the other destination may purchase that pass in addition; the existing pass remains in force regardless. While capitalism holds weight in the hereafter, earthly regulatory bodies require the Church to state that these passes are distributed as conceptual art objects, constitute no legally binding contract with any recognized terrestrial religious institution, and confer no rights, goods, or services in this life. All sales are final, both in this life and the next.
Credits
Concept and execution: Unsubscribe NYC LLC, issuing broker, by decree of the Church of Conceptual Art. Consultancy: Super//Natural.
About the Church of Conceptual Art
The Church of Conceptual Art is a religious institution incorporated in Montana and the founding congregation of Corporate Realism, the position that the institution itself is the artwork and that belief, engineered and administered, is its material. The Afterlife Ticketing program is the Church's first sacrament available at retail.
Website: https://afterlife.churchofconceptualart.org/
Press Contact:
Jesse Do
jdo@unsubscribe.llc
